What A Difference A Year Makes
by JagFan42
Summary: Harm and Mac look back on the year of their lives following Hail and Farewell - Final Chapter!
1. Chapter 1

What A Difference A Year Makes  
  
Author: Barb  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Harm and Mac look back on the year of their lives following Hail and Farewell.  
  
0900

21 May 2005

JAG Headquarters

Annual Picnic  
  
Today was the day most looked forward to all year (besides Christmas) - the Annual JAG Family Picnic, the one held every year to give them a mental health day and enjoy each other's company. The grounds are perfect for such an affair, with a large parade field. There's only one rule - No Shop Talk allowed and strictly enforced. Admiral's warning: "Put your cell phones on vibrate, people, and run, don't walk to the nearest exit if I see that thing come out of your pocket."  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It's been a year since Admiral Chegwidden retired. He had walked away without saying goodbye that night, which was exactly how he had wanted it, no fuss, no muss. And he did precisely as he said he would.....he and Francesca had spent the summer touring all the nation's ballparks, and they even made it to Fenway Park during the playoffs, not that they'd won the pennant Bostonians had been ogling for lo these many years. Maybe next time.  
  
So AJ had found himself a free agent again, and had been toying with staying in the baseball arena. He finally had been offered his dream job of coaching the Academy softball team and he sold his house in McLean, moving to Highland Beach so he could be closer to Annapolis now. They had had a good, albeit mediocre, season but next year he thought, they'd get the rhythm. He couldn't be happier - all he needed now was someone to share his other interests.  
  
The new JAG was a happy surprise. Captain Sebring had been promoted about 1-1/2 years ago and was selected the new JAG. That was such a relief. Everyone was begging that it not be Krennick and their prayers were answered. Sebring was tough, fair, but mostly he didn't have his own personal agenda.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
It was a fine Navy day - the sun was shining overhead, a little hazy this morning, but it'll burn off and there won't be a cloud in the sky.....so no chance of rain. Everyone arrived intermittently, families laden with children of all ages and more food than they'll possibly be able to finish. But that's okay, because it's meant to be a day of overeating and over playing, or just relaxing with a good book if that's your sole mission on this day. The barbecue pits were being fired up, and badminton nets erected, horseshoe pits cleaned, and croquet spikes being placed on the grass. The kids were being lathered up with sunscreen, which in turn had them buzzing in anticipation of all the fun they were going to have today.  
  
After Mac had arrived, she brought her covered dish to one of the food tables. To make things easier and be sure there would be no doubles or triples of items, a list had been made of what items were needed: there were categories for food, stuff for the fire, drinks, ice, plates and utensils, etc. to choose from. She had wanted to bring her famous chili for the dogs, but had signed up too late and wound up with the cucumber and tomato salad instead. Not a total loss, I guess.  
  
Mac met up with Harriet and the twins, she sure had her hands full these days, and it never ceased to amaze Mac how well she handled whatever came her way. She wondered how Harriet was always so.....unflappable was the word she wanted to use. Mac offered to watch them in their double stroller while Harriet got little AJ and Jimmy started on an activity with the other little ones.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It's been a year since Harriet had announced she was having a baby - twins. Oh, Mac had been so happy for her. You know Harriet is one of those people who good things happen to. Not to say she didn't have her fair share of heartbreak, losing Sarah, little AJ running away. But to say she glowed through this last nine months is an understatement. This pregnancy really agreed with her and she was so deserving. Since she stopped working early on, she had hardly any physical problems, especially the toxemia she seemed to suffer with during her last two pregnancies. Surprisingly, Harriet went full term and in February 2005, she gave birth to one of each, a boy and a girl. She warned Bud she had sole discretion as to the naming of these infants, no more Star Trek characters in her family, thank you very much. Her life is not a sci fi movie, after all. And so they were named Abby Michelle and Thomas Keith (TK for short).  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Mac got herself settled after saying Hi to everyone and conversing with some of her coworkers, mostly about their kids and how they were looking forward to the end of school. When she was finally alone she made her way to a quiet spot not far from the activity and out of the line of fire to put down a large blanket under a tree. She was waiting for Harm to show. He'd been stuck on the Patrick Henry for an investigation for the last several days, but promised he'd be done in plenty of time. She joked with him, "Okay, but don't hurry on my account, I'd rather not have to pick you out of the ocean again, once was enough for me." She said lightheartedly.  
  
She sat back against the tree and let out a sigh. She took in her surroundings and wondered where the year had gone. It had been a long year, much longer than either of them believed it could be. Wow, she thought...hard to believe it's been 2 years since Paraguay. Where has the time gone?  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It's been a year since Webb....perished. It hadn't been a dream, and there was nothing fake about it – he was really gone. His body had been shipped to Tripler AFB in Hawaii, and then was returned home to his mother after the obligatory autopsy. Positive identification had been made, but Porter made them open the casket to make her own identification. They were never told of the mission or its failure, no such facts came to light – need to know, Mac thought as she stood by Porter Webb on that overcast and showery day, as they put Clay to rest, another star on the Wall.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Occasionally Mac still missed him, or rather the thought of him, and of what might have been. But that was all behind her now.  
  
Mac picked up her latest novel by James Patterson and started to read, but she couldn't concentrate. She leaned against the tree and watched the bustling crowd, and smelled the charcoals burning. She inhaled, and felt so alive.  
  
Mac's illness - what can she say about that? She looked back on the night of the Admiral's dining out, thought back to the conversation with Harm, where the word yes would bring on a whole new meaning and change their relationship forever. Harm had made her an offer, one he had made before but she really didn't intend for him to fulfill. For all the wanting, she didn't expect him to make the offer again, especially considering the state of their relationship at the time.  
  
Mac had been sitting outside with Harm after his insistence that they get some fresh air. She could feel the concern in his eyes but at the time, she didn't have the energy for a conversation about her health or whether she loved Webb. But she acquiesced, knowing Harm meant well and knowing, too, that she had to let off some steam, maybe shed a few well-deserved tears for the state of her life at this moment.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Men just seem to pass through my life, except for you. Will you always be there?"  
  
"Yes." He'd turned to face her when he said it. It was such a powerful word, and she could feel the weight of the statement....he'd always be there no matter what.  
  
"Then you need to know what the doctor told me." Harm reached out for Mac's hand and she took the strength from it. But she wasn't ready to talk just yet.  
  
"Harm, I'm not feeling well." Her eyes start to mist up. "I need to take my pain medication, go home and get to bed. The doctor didn't even want me coming out tonight, I've done too much already and my brain is mush. I'm sorry, can we talk later? Would you mind taking me home?"  
  
He pulled back and reached over to run his hand over her shoulders. "Of course, I'm sorry Mac, we can talk whenever you're ready. Let's get you home, okay? Maybe I can get someone to take your car home for you, we'll work something out, it should be safe to leave it here."  
  
"No, that's not necessary, I took a cab, that's why it took me so long to get here. I promised the doctor I wouldn't drive."  
  
He helped Mac stand and reached to tip her chin up to face him. "Mac, I know you're hurting so I'm not going to yell at you," he said with concern, "But please, you know if there's anything you need, ever, all you have to do is ask, okay?"  
  
"I know, you're right." She stood there, feeling tired and weary, even her hair hurt. With Harm leading the way at the small of her back, they went back inside and bid good night to everyone. Mac stopped at the powder room and took her medication, then they left. Harm opened the car door and Mac got in rather gingerly. Funny how a little incision and some puffs of air can make you feel like you're going to explode. They started on the road and Harm put on some light, soothing music. Mac was tucked in the passenger side and had adjusted the seat so she could lean back a little further. That, along with the blanket Harm put over her seemed to make her somewhat comfortable. A few minutes later the pain medication kicked in and she was asleep, breathing peacefully. This was the first time in months Harm had seen her without a scowl on her face.  
  
Harm spent most of the trip stealing long glances at Mac. At least when she was asleep he didn't have to walk on eggshells around her. He missed her. Being with her, working dinners....he laughed inwardly when he remembered that coin toss where they had banged heads and that "Don't be gentle, be good" statement. Oh, how he wished it could be that easy again.  
  
He thought back to that conversation on the Wake Island where he had all but declared is love for her, and wondered if she ever understood what he was trying to say. And then Webb had died. And now she needed him. But did she want him? He didn't really know. But just for now, he'd take it slow, one day at a time, and see what happens.  
  
END FLASHBACK


	2. Chapter 2

What A Difference A Year Makes – Chapter 2  
  
Author: Barb  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Harm and Mac look back on the year of their lives following Hail and Farewell.  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
1100

21 May 2005

JAG Headquarters

Annual Picnic  
  
"Hi Mac, I'm glad you came. I wasn't expecting to see you today." Sturgis said.  
  
"Hmmm, I was thinking about staying home, but it's such a nice day, I didn't want to waste it."  
  
"Harm coming?"  
  
"You know how that is. He said he'd try."  
  
"So while you're waiting, why don't you come play a game with me?"  
  
"Oh come on Sturgis, you feel like getting your butt kicked today?" She laughed. "What's your poison?"  
  
"I seem to recall that I beat you at the Jagathon by over four minutes."  
  
"Uh huh, pure luck." She laughed easily. "So how about I beat you at a game of chess?"  
  
"You're on. But I hope you're better at chess than you are at running." They laughed together. They walked over to the chess table and started playing.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Harm was nearing Mac's apartment when she stirred. "Harm, would you mind terribly if I stay at your place tonight? I'd really rather not be alone."  
  
"Okay. I don't have anything for you to wear though. You can't sleep in that uniform. Let's swing by your place and pick up some clothes for you."  
  
"No, really, I don't have the energy to run up the stairs and pack a bag. Can't I just borrow a sweatshirt or something?"  
  
"Sure, we'll think of something." He said as he rubbed her arm.  
  
They pulled up to Harm's apartment and he helped Mac out of the car and up the elevator, then unlocked the door and helped her inside. She really looked out of it. Against her protests, Harm led her up to his bedroom and sat her down on his bed. He turned around and grabbed a sweatshirt and some cut-off sweatpants with a drawstring, and handed them to her. "Here, this should do. Let me know if they're too uncomfortable."  
  
"Thanks," she said, and stood up to unbutton her jacket and shirt. Harm made sure she was going to stay on her feet and then walked back downstairs and into the kitchen to make some tea.  
  
Mac put on the clothes, they were pretty loose, but loose was just what she needed right now, what a relief. She sat on the bed and felt a slight chill; she hugged herself, then brought her arm up to smell the fabric. She closed her eyes and took comfort in the fact that it smelled like him, God she loved that smell, the combination of soap and detergent and his aftershave.  
  
A few minutes later, Harm went to check on her, it was too quiet up there. He found her clothes on the floor and Mac was lying on her side with her legs dangling over the side. Her arms were clasped together for dear life; she looked so uncomfortable.....but adorable. He tried to rouse her to no avail. So he lifted her legs up gently and swung them onto the bed, then moved his other hand under her back and shifted her weight more evenly over the bed. There, that was better. Harm picked her clothes up and hung them over a chair, then grabbed the blankets and covered Mac up and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Sleep tight.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Mac beat Sturgis once and won once. They were even. Sturgis squeezed her arm and bid her goodbye, some of the guys were starting a football game. Mac surveyed the crowd and smiled, this was such a good day.  
  
The smell of the barbeque was enveloping her senses and she checked her internal clock. She salivated - definitely chow time. Hmmmm, what to eat, the possibilities were endless. She grabbed a plate and helped herself to a hot dog, a hamburger, and not to be outdone, a couple of baby back ribs and some corn slathered in butter – and that was just the appetizer. It's times like this, she mused, she was grateful she could eat whatever she wanted and not gain a pound. Well, except for this time, and smiled at the thought. She negotiated all the hazards successfully as she sat back down on her blanket to eat. Mac knew this wasn't a good position for her, but it gave her the best view of all the activities, so she'll have to grin and bear it. She was having fun.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Mac woke up the next morning a bit confused and in pain. Then she remembered where she was, at Harm's. It was quiet in here and she saw that it was early, only 6 am. She sat up and stretched at little, wincing from the tightness in her stomach, but that was to be expected for a few more days. She got up to use the bathroom and took one of her pills. She peered around the divider and saw that Harm was still asleep, she didn't want to wake him. She quietly crawled back into bed and promptly fell back to sleep.  
  
Harm woke up at around 6:30 and tried to stretch some the kinks out of his neck. He reminded himself for the hundredth time that he had to get a bigger couch. He got up to check on Mac. She was still sleeping, looks like she slept through the night. Good, she needed the rest. God knows these last couple of weeks must have been unbearable for her. He quietly puttered around the apartment, but became restless rather quickly, he was afraid to make noise and wake her up. So he decided to take a chance and went out to get some coffee and doughnuts, thinking she was probably going to be hungry when she woke up.  
  
Harm got back from a trip to Starbucks and the local pastry shop. Mac was still asleep. So he sat back down on the couch with his latte and picked up the day's paper and started to read. When he finished that, he went and paid some bills. Then he checked on Mac again – she was still sleeping. He checked his watch....wow, it was almost 10 am. And he was starting to get worried. He went and checked on Mac again, checking to see if he could see her chest rising and falling - It was, what a relief.  
  
So he sat back on the couch. And waited. Now it's almost Noon. Harm went back to check on Mac again, this time he checked for a pulse....just to be safe. Whew, she had one. He rolled his eyes thinking Mac would kill him if she knew he had done that. She wouldn't think it was funny, but then, neither did he. So he waited, and paced, waited, and waited some more. And finally, at 5 pm, she opened her eyes to find him sitting there in a chair by the side of the bed.  
  
"Harm, what are you doing?"  
  
"Watching over you. I told you I would." She smiled at that. It was nice to see her smile.  
  
"What's for breakfast?" she asked as she pulled herself deeper under the covers. She never wanted to get up.  
  
"Breakfast? Are you kidding? It's 5 pm, Mac. You've been sleeping all day."  
  
"What? Mmmmm, wow, I feel like I could sleep forever. Have I ever mentioned how comfortable your bed is?"  
  
"Not recently, no." He smiled ruefully.  
  
"Well, I don't think I've gotten this much sleep in a long time. I guess I was due. But your back must be killing you." She commented.  
  
"I'll be fine. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Not too bad right now. I got up and took a pill around 6 I guess."  
  
"Then you're probably overdue for another one, but you should eat first, those things can give you a stomach ache without food. So what do you say to breakfast/dinner in bed?"  
  
"No, I can't Harm. You've been so good to me, I can't take advantage of you. I'll eat, but I've got to get up and start moving. The doctor told me it was important."  
  
"What can I get for you? Do you want me to make something or should I order in?" he asked, remembering that she hadn't told him yet what the doctor said – not that he hadn't been thinking that for the last several hours.  
  
"Well, I can't go out looking like this, so I guess ordering in. I could go for some Chinese."  
  
He held out a duffel bag and handed it to Mac, "While you were sleeping I went to your place and picked up some clothes for you, I hope you don't mind."  
  
"Harm, don't tell me you went through my underwear drawers" and pulled the covers over her head.  
  
"Not to worry Mac, I picked some clothes out of a laundry basket that was on your bed." He smirked. "Not that I didn't want to though, but the thought of you lopping my hand off deterred me."  
  
She smiled at the thought. "You're funny."  
  
END FLASHBACK


	3. Chapter 3

What A Difference A Year Makes  
  
Author: Barb  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Harm and Mac look back on the year of their lives following Hail and Farewell.  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
1100

21 May 2005

JAG Headquarters

Annual Picnic  
  
Bud was passing by Mac's blanket, "Hi, Ma'am, uh, I mean Mac."  
  
"Hey, you're getting better at that Bud, I mean Lieutenant Commander Roberts. It suits you, you know." She said with a smile.  
  
"Well thanks, Mac, it feels good too." He smiled. "So, no Harm yet?"  
  
"No, it's early, I didn't really expect him to make it before noon. But in the mean time I've been sitting here enjoying the day; getting a little sun, people watching."  
  
"And eating," he laughed as he looked at her feast.  
  
"Of course eating, Bud, what else is there?" she laughed lightheartedly. She wrinkled her nose, "Oh and I've been trying to read this book all morning, but I just can't seem to get my mind around it today, must be all the activity."  
  
"Well, Harriet wanted to know if you'd be interested in watching the babies for a little while."  
  
"Are you kidding? I'd love to. Let me clean my plate. Tell Harriet I'll be over in about 15 minutes, okay?"  
  
"Sure. I'll let her know." He said as little AJ ran over crying after falling down and scraping his knee. Bud said goodbye, turned and bent to soothe AJ, then led him over to the first aid station for a Spiderman Band Aid.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Mac was reluctant to get up - she hadn't felt this comfortable in a long time. Just a few more minutes of snuggle time, she begged. She slowly worked her way from under the covers and stood up. She could hear Harm on the phone ordering her favorite Chinese dinner and salivated. She hadn't realized how hungry she was, and guessed that was a good sign.  
  
She borrowed a towel and took a shower. Harm had the best shower head in the world, that coupled with the hard water; the staccato beat on her head and shoulders gave her renewed energy, and she just stood there, eyes closed for countless minutes savoring the feeling, then grudgingly soaped up and rinsed off.  
  
Mac dried herself off and dressed, then packed her dress uniform away and headed down to the land of the living.  
  
"Harm, I can't tell you how grateful I am for everything." She smiled. "I'm actually starting to feel a little more human." She walked over to him; he seemed to sense her need, and enveloped her in his arms. He rubbed his hand up and down her back while the other held the back of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.  
  
Then the dam burst.  
  
Mac started crying softly, just a few sniffles, but Harm didn't think anything of it. But he held her fast and started to rock her back and forth ever so slowly. He made the mistake when he asked her if she was okay. No, she wasn't.  
  
"Harm....I....I can't...." She cried and tried to pull him in closer, she needed to feel him, and started weeping uncontrollably. Harm's heart broke, he closed his eyes and pulled her closer, trying to soothe her and tell her everything was going to be okay.  
  
"I'm right here, Mac. Shhhh, it's going to be okay, I promise. Whatever it is, I'll be here for you, we'll get through it together, like Butch and Sundance, you'll see."  
  
Mac choked on a laugh and nodded into his chest, her face was flushed and her breath coming in short bursts, but it seemed like hours before Mac was able to calm down. She finally was able to pull her face away from Harm's chest, "Look what I did to you, you're soaked. I got you all wet." And she started to cry all over again. At that, Harm picked her up and carried her over to the couch, where he set her down. She wouldn't release her hold on him. "It's okay Mac, you don't ever have to let go." And she didn't.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Mac made her way over to where Harriet was sitting with the babies, a nice shady spot. She had taken the twins out of their stroller and was cradling them in the crook of each arm. "Perfect timing Mac, I was just getting ready to feed them. Do you want one?"  
  
"Yeah, of course. Which one do you want me to take?"  
  
"Well, they're both a little fussy right now with all the excitement, but I think Abby. I'll take TK," and handed the little girl to Mac along with her bottle.  
  
Mac cradled Abby and brushed her finger over Abby's fist. Abby grabbed for it and held on tight, squirming in Mac's arms. "Oh Harriet, they're both so adorable. I can't believe how big they've gotten." She put the bottle to Abby's mouth and caressed her cheek with her finger. "How do you do it Harriet? How do you manage to take care of four at once?"  
  
"I get a lot of help from Bud, and little AJ is becoming a big help too. You get used to it."  
  
"Do you ever miss it? JAG?" she asked.  
  
"I did for the first couple of months. But then I realized how lucky I am to be able to stay home with them." She reflected back before she continued, "Now, no, I don't miss it at all, there's not much time for anything else." Mac smiled and nodded her head.  
  
Harriet had finished feeding TK, he'd sucked down his bottle in record time, and he was freshly diapered and sleeping on the blanket. Bud came over and helped Harriet up, they wanted to go watch little AJ play soccer, and Jimmy was busy finger painting. Mac assured them she would be fine and to go and not worry.  
  
A few minutes later, Abby finished her bottle. Mac burped her and changed her, then held her up to her shoulder, sitting with her eyes closed, lost in her thoughts and humming to the baby while rocking her lightly and rubbing her back, when she felt him.  
  
She opened her eyes, looked up and smiled, and let out a satisfied sigh, "Hi. I missed you."  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Mac regained her composure finally, after the Chinese food had arrived and gotten cold. But it didn't matter. Harm had one arm around her shoulder and held her hand as she told him about her illness, that she may not be able to have children. He cringed at the thought of just how bad his timing had been. Would the timing ever be right for them, he wondered silently. "I'm so sorry, Mac. God, I feel so stupid. I never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that."  
  
Mac squeezed his hand. "There was no way for you to know, Harm. It's okay."  
  
"But there is a remote chance?"  
  
"Some, but the doctor said not to count on it, not to get my hopes up." She thought for a moment, "But if I wanted to try and take the chance, before it's too late..." she said tentatively. Harm gathered her up in a hug that answered her question, and held her that way for a very long time.  
  
Baby steps. The following Monday Harm and Mac went back to work as usual, but things were never the same again. It didn't take long to get back into the rhythm of friendship - sure, they worked together, and opposed each other in the courtroom at times, but they never let themselves get too far apart or take each other for granted. Life, they realized, was too short.  
  
Harm gave Mac the space she needed but was never further than a phone call away. Mac saw the doctor regularly and had just stopped taking the pain medication. She had been learning a new biofeedback technique and so far it was working pretty well. That, and Harm had learned how to give her massages. The pain was still there but it was becoming more manageable.  
  
As the days and weeks went on, a new dance had started.....with tender smiles, little touches, and of hugs bursting with love. A couple of months passed and now Harm and Mac spent just about all their time together. Before they knew it, and without words, he became her lifeline, and she, his. The summer had waned, had become Indian summer and then the winter.  
  
One chilly Saturday night, they sat together at Mac's, watching a rented movie on TV and eating popcorn. There was a fire crackling in the fireplace, Mac was snuggled up to Harm's lap on the couch and he was tracing lazy circles on her back, his feet propped up on the coffee table. Harm looked down to find Mac sleeping and he found himself watching her instead of the movie. He smiled at how peaceful she looked, reached his hand up and over her hair, and wondered what he would ever do without her.  
  
He didn't want to disturb her, but Harm knew if Mac stayed like this she'd have one sore neck later, so he tried to nudge her awake.  
  
"Mac, it's time to get up. You should get to bed now."  
  
"Mmmmm, no, I want to stay here."  
  
"Come on sleepyhead, you'll be much happier sleeping in bed. Come on, you'll thank me in the morning," he said as he rubbed her back.  
  
Mac stretched and sat up, briefly wondering where she was. Then she looked at Harm and smiled. Harm stood up and reached out to help her. Mac was looking at him with a grin he'd never seen before. "What?" he asked.  
  
"You woke me up."  
  
"I know, I'm sorry. You looked so peaceful, I hated to do it to you." He said as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned in for a light kiss.  
  
"I was dreaming."  
  
"Yeah, about what?"  
  
"Us."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"You know," she eyed him coyly.  
  
"I do?" Gulp.  
  
"Of course, you were there, silly." She laughed.  
  
"Well, that clears that up."  
  
"Would you like me to refresh your memory?" She asked as he reached for his hand to lead him to the bedroom.  
  
Harm was startled. This was the....they hadn't yet.....not that he didn't want to....not that he didn't dream of one day.....he swallowed. "Are you sure?"  
  
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life, Harm. Come on. It's time."  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"Don't get up." Harm motioned for Mac to stay where she was. Not that she had much choice. He kneeled down and kissed her. "Who do we have here?"  
  
"This is Abby. You remember her Harm, it's only been a couple of months. She hasn't grown that much." She chuckled.  
  
"I've been watching you. You're a natural Mac," he said with a smile. "You should see your face right now," and reached out to touch her belly. She was going into her seventh month.  
  
"You should see yours, you know, you're positively glowing."  
  
"I don't think men glow, Mac, but I'll take your word for it. So, you're feeling okay?"  
  
"Oh, Harm, today is such a good day," and gave him a kiss.  
  
"Marry Me, Mac."  
  
"Harm, I hate to break it to you, but we're already married."  
  
"Love me forever?"  
  
"Absolutely."


	4. Chapter 4

What A Difference A Year Makes  
  
Author: Barb

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Harm and Mac look back on the year of their lives following Hail and Farewell.  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
1200

21 May 2005

JAG Headquarters

Annual Picnic  
  
"Harm, could you grab Abby for me, I'm getting uncomfortable and need to change positions, and I think it's time you practiced holding one, don't you?"  
  
"Sure, piece of cake, no problem, I can do this, nothing to it."  
  
"What's the matter Harm, nervous?" She chuckled.  
  
"Me, nervous? You're kidding, Mac. Stand back and watch a pro at work here," he said with not an ounce of conviction. How hard can it be, really?  
  
Mac turned to face Harm, and Harm reached out tentatively to grab Abby. He put one hand under her body and his other hand behind her neck for support, then pulled her in against his chest. A second later and Abby was tucked quietly in the crook of his arm. Sigh of relief. He grinned, "See, that wasn't so bad."  
  
"Great, now all you have to do is change her diaper." She suggested.  
  
"Change her, huh? I don't suppose there are operating instructions available for men somewhere laying around.  
  
"Oh Harm, it'll be fine. Here, watch me. You take Abby and I'll take TK" and laid them down parallel to each other. Both babies are staring at them, wiggling and grabbing their toes, making small gurgling noises. "Okay, so you take the diaper tabs and rip them apart and pull the old diaper out from under the bottom. Then you take a new diaper, open the top and bottom flaps like so, and push the diaper up under the baby's bottom – the top of the tapes usually are lined up with the belly button."  
  
"How's this?" He asked. "Well, good, but the diaper is upside down, you should fix that." And he did and showed it to her. "Good, that's better. Now take a baby wipe and wipe the area." She surveyed his technique, "You missed a spot there. Okay, now for a liberal sprinkling of powder, readjust the diaper, pull the tapes on one side and tape the front to the back together, then the same thing on the other side, then you're done."  
  
Harm held up Abby and was pleased that the diaper actually stayed on, and on his first try. He showed Mac with a smile of satisfaction. "See, I do good work."  
  
"You do, and by the time you start doing it for real, it'll only take you about a minute instead of ten. She rewarded him with a kiss. "You did good."  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Mac woke up the following morning enveloped in Harm's arms. All she could think was that this was what she had been missing, and now they were finally home. God, they were good together, she had never felt more comfortable and at peace with anyone in her life, and sighed with contentment.  
  
Mac rolled in bed so that she was facing Harm, she wanted to see his face. He stirred but didn't wake, and she laid there and watched him breathe....he looked so content. She could never get enough of him – enough kisses, smiles, touches, hugs, love.  
  
She sure was feeling frisky this morning, she mused as she pulled the covers up to her eyes. Mac lay there watching Harm for about ten minutes, and giggling silently, decided to challenge herself to see if she could get really close to him without waking him. So she made it her mission – morning maneuvers you could call it - and decided on a covert full frontal assault. She nudged him gently so that he would roll onto his back....Check; she leaned over and slithered her left leg over his thighs.....Check; she leaned up on her right elbow and reached over with her left arm to cross over his stomach.....Check; then leaned up on her right hip and pulled herself on top – mission one accomplished, she thought with a sly smile, the Marine has landed.  
  
Harm stirred briefly, but didn't waken. That's a shame, she was thinking, she didn't want him to miss out on all the fun. Okay, Mission two - reveille. Mac pulled herself up and started to nuzzle Harm's neck, and was rewarded with goose bumps. Good, she thought with a smile. She continued her assault, dropping light kisses and little licks on his lips, ear, neck, then down to his chest. She started to feel him harden underneath her and knew it wouldn't be long now.  
  
His arms came about and wrapped themselves around her. "Mmmmm, Mac, what are you doing?" She smiled – Mission two accomplished. Shall we shoot for Mission three?  
  
"Oh, don't mind me, I'm on a mission," as she played with the hair on his chest.  
  
"And what's that?" he asked as he ran his hands up her back and down to her soft six.  
  
"Operation Love Harm."  
  
"Am I supposed to be an unwilling participant or can I join in? You know how well we work together, Mac, I could be a real asset," he said, raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Operations such as these are frequently performed as a team, and your ahem, assets, will be fully utilized, but let there be no mistake, I'm giving the orders, mister."  
  
"Whatever you say, Mac," he said with a grin and let her have her way with him.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Harriet and Bud came back after a time to relieve Harm and Mac. He helped her up and they held hands and went for a much-needed walk around the grounds. They came upon the food table, and Mac fixed Harm a plate of food, then prepared one for herself.  
  
"Harm, that's her second helping you know. She only ate about ½ hour ago." Bud informed him as he was walking by.  
  
Mac looked at the traitor and laughed, "You rat."  
  
"That's okay, Bud, never keep a hungry, pregnant Marine away from her food.....not a pretty sight, my friend," as he put his arm around her waist.  
  
"He loves me."  
  
"Yes, I do," he stated and leaned to kiss her on the forehead.  
  
"Harm, will you still love me if he turns out to be a meat eater like me?"  
  
"Of course. But what if she turns out to be a vegetarian like me?"  
  
"I guess I could live with that. I'll have to learn a whole new way of cooking with tofu." She laughed as she wrinkled her nose.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It had been a month since Harm and Mac started, well, you know. Even though they hadn't discussed it with the doctor, they figured since the odds of conception were so low, they wouldn't need protection. So when Mac missed her cycle she didn't think much of it at the time, it had happened before. But then she missed the next one also. "Uh oh, now what?" She thought. She made an immediate doctor appointment and was waiting there on the examining table clothed in that stupid gown. Please don't let it be anything bad, she begged silently.  
  
The doctor came in and examined her, and collected a urine sample. She opened the door to hand the sample to her assistant with instructions to run this sample, stat.  
  
The doctor patted her hand and told her not to be alarmed, she didn't think her condition had gotten any worse, and this was most likely not the cause of this recent miss. "So what do you think, doctor?" she asked, not really wanting to know.  
  
"Well, we'll get confirmation here in a few minutes, but I'd say congratulations are in order, Colonel."  
  
"Huh? What do you mean?" Then the light bulb went on. Mac sat there in disbelief, then a small smile started, then she started laughing and covered her face with her hands. Oh my God, she thought, a baby. "I'm pregnant?" she asked to be sure.  
  
"I'd say so. About seven or eight weeks give or take. But the test will confirm." There was a knock at the door and the doctor was handed a piece of paper. She closed the door and turned around, and handed her the paper, "Positive. There you are."  
  
Mac thanked the doctor, received instructions to follow up with a GYN specialist for a sonogram and walked away from the office in a daze. She made it home on autopilot and walked in the door to Harm's apartment to find the lights dimmed, candles on the table, and light music playing on the stereo. "Harm?"  
  
"Hi, how did it go with the doctor?" he asked as he stepped down from his bedroom. He was wearing some nice slacks, a button-down shirt open at the collar, and a smile that made her melt.  
  
"Good," she smiled back. "What's all this?" she waved at the décor and his dress.  
  
"Oh, I don't know, I wanted to do something nice for you." He walked over to give her a hug. "Have a seat." He helped her into her chair. They ate in relative silence; they both had something on their minds. Harm was going to wait until after dinner, but he couldn't stand it any more. "Actually, there's something I want to tell you," he started.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, fine."  
  
"Good, there's something I want to tell you too," she said.  
  
"Can I go first?"  
  
"No, I can't wait, can I tell you first?  
  
"Aw, Mac, I've been waiting all day and if I don't say it soon, I'm going to spontaneously combust."  
  
She couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay, you win. I don't want you to turn to ash or anything."  
  
"Mac, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. These last months have been the happiest of my life. I know this may seem too fast, but I just had to tell you how much I love you." He got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet jewel box. Mac gasped and held her hands up to her face, then peered over her fingertips. "Say you'll marry me, Mac. Let me love you forever."  
  
Harm opened the box and revealed a beautiful solitaire diamond set in white gold. He looked up at her and when she nodded, he slipped on her finger. "I love you Harm," she said as she started to cry.  
  
"Happy tears?" he asked.  
  
She laughed lightly and nodded, "Yeah, very happy," as she slid her arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. Then she pulled back and covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head with a gleam in her eye.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remember the doctor said the odds of me conceiving were pretty long?"  
  
"Yeah." He motioned for her to continue.  
  
"Well, looks like you've got some pretty strong swimmers, Harm, maybe even a Seal team."  
  
"So you're...."  
  
"Pregnant, yeah."  
  
"Wow." He was elated.  
  
"Yeah, wow." She was thrilled.  
  
Harm and Mac had waited only long enough for the standard 3-day waiting period to end before marrying quietly in a civil ceremony before their friends. They decided to renew their vows in a nice ceremony with the works at a later date. With the baby coming, they wanted to focus all their energy on making arrangements and preparations. They sublet Harm's apartment and kept Mac's because it was bigger, and decided to wait on buying a house for the time being.  
  
Mac had her up and down days, but surprisingly, most of them were good after the morning sickness subsided. She tried squeezing into her uniform until the very last minute, but finally gave it up – this was a battle she was willing to lose.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
1500

21 May 2005

JAG Headquarters

Annual Picnic  
  
It had been a festive day, but long, and Mac was exhausted. Luckily she had thought ahead and had gotten a ride earlier, so she didn't have to drive home. Harm walked her slowly to the car, his hand at the small of her back.  
  
Harm opened the car door and Mac winced a little as she bent to get in.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, just a little twinge, nothing to worry about. The baby's been kicking a lot today," she said and patted his hand.  
  
They rode home with the radio off to Mac's profound relief. She was on sensory overload, too much stimulation (and food) for one day. They pulled up to the apartment and Harm turned off the ignition and turned to see that Mac was asleep.  
  
"Mac, we're home. Come on, let's get you upstairs."  
  
She stirred and gave him a smile, and rubbed his arm. "Do I have to?"  
  
"Yes, that's an order. And I'll even throw in a back massage."  
  
"You really know how to sweet talk a girl. You're on."  
  
They took the elevator up and let themselves in, they changed clothes and Mac settled in for her massage. Harm was kneading her shoulders, "Have I ever told you what great hands you have?" she asked.  
  
"Only every time I give you a massage," he laughed.  
  
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, yes, you have. I love you too."  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"What is it Mac?" he said soothingly.  
  
"I'm having a baby."  
  
"I know. Me too." He smiled.  
  
"No, I mean now."  
  
He turned to face her, "Now as in Right Now?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Are you sure? Mac, why didn't you say something? Are you in pain? Talk to me, what's going on? This isn't funny you know." He was starting to panic.  
  
"Maybe it's nothing." She reasoned. "It's been a long day and I probably did too much."  
  
"No, it's not nothing. I don't think it's nothing. I have a feeling it's not nothing. Oh my God, we're having a baby." He said as he started to pace.  
  
"Ouch," she said as she rubbed her belly. He ran over and put his hand over hers.  
  
"It's too early, Mac, too early." He was rambling.  
  
"I know, but the doctor warned us this could happen. It's probably nothing, we're probably worrying about nothing, it'll be fine."  
  
"Let's get you to the hospital, just in case."  
  
"What if it's a false alarm? Then I'll really feel stupid."  
  
"It's not like that's never happened before," he stated.  
  
"What, a false alarm, or me being stupid?" She asked with a smile.  
  
"Funny, Mac."  
  
"Just trying to lighten the mood."  
  
"Let's go, better to be safe than sorry." And led her back to the car. Thankfully they had packed a bag for this and it came along for the ride.  
  
They got to Bethesda hospital in record time, Harm drove as fast as he could without endangering anybody, and Mac silently thanked God Harm had looked into shortcuts. The pains were coming fairly steadily now. Harm had called the doctor and was advised to bring her in. He didn't want to take any chances since Mac was high risk.  
  
As soon as they arrived, Mac was immediately put on a gurney and wheeled into the ER. She was hooked up to IV fluids, monitors, fetal monitors, and pulse ox readings were being taken continuously. Harm was allowed to stay as long as he stayed out of their way. They performed a sonogram and determined the baby was in the correct position. He had already dropped, although the water hadn't broken yet, and upon examination, Mac was about five centimeters dilated.  
  
It was a tough call, the doctor said. Since the baby is so premature and somewhat underdeveloped in the lungs, Mac wasn't fully dilated, and her water had not broken, they could give her a medication to stop labor. In that case Mac in all likelihood would be able to go full term but would be on strict bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy.  
  
Or they could wait it out for a couple more hours to see if anything develops. Perhaps a C-section might be necessary. So they ultimately decided to keep her overnight for observation.  
  
Mac was taken to a room in the Maternity ward and got settled. She really didn't like hospitals, especially as a patient. She just wanted to go home. Harm sat in a chair by the bed and held her hand. "I'm tired, I want to go home. Do I have to stay? I'll be good, I'll stay in bed for as long as it takes, please can I go home?"  
  
"Let's just take it easy, Mac. Overnight isn't too bad and it's the best place for you right now. I'll be right here with you the whole time." He said to soothe her.  
  
"Come lay in bed with me?" Harm nodded and collapsed one of the side railings, then climbed up to lay with Mac. He kissed her forehead, then grabbed her hand and took it to lay on her belly, and he covered hers. She leaned back and tried to relax a little, when she felt something. She grabbed Harm's hand and put it over the spot. Harm waited, and then her stomach moved, he could feel something poking her and wondered if it was a foot or a hand. That was remarkable.  
  
The next several hours were uneventful, but then Mac woke suddenly and nudged Harm. "Harm, wake up, something's happening." Harm jumped up and put his hand to her belly. He looked down and realized then, that Mac's water had broken and she was soaked. He reached over and hit the call button.  
  
The nurse came walking in briskly and saw the mess, then checked Mac's vitals and her IVs, then checked quickly to see how she was dilating. The doctor waltzed in several minutes later and after consulting with the nurse, said, "Sorry Colonel, you're fully dilated, so we're going to take you up to delivery." He looked at Harm, "Commander, you're welcome to sit with her in the delivery room, just stay by her head, okay?"  
  
"Just sit tight, Colonel, we're going to switch you to a dry gurney and change your gown to make you more comfortable."  
  
Mac was wheeled upstairs and over the course of the last hour, her labor had intensified and now it's really starting to hurt. They hadn't even started Lamaze classes, so they had no idea how to breathe. She was panting hard and felt like she was going to pass out. She wanted to push.  
  
Sensing her distress, Harm went over to one of the nurses and asked if there was someone who could help them, they didn't know what to do. There was a midwife named Kim on this floor tonight he was told, and she was brought in to lend a hand. When Mac's contractions started, Kim told Mac how to breathe and for how long, and when she could relax. They developed a rhythm, and everything was going well. Harm sighed with relief as he held tightly to Mac's hand.  
  
The contractions were coming closer together, and the doctor stepped in to take a look. "The baby's crowning," he said. "Not much longer now, Colonel. Next time you have to push, give it all you've got."  
  
Mac felt another contraction and this time she bore down with everything she had and let out a long scream, squeezing Harm's hand so tightly he thought she broke it. She finally let go and he shook it out. The next one hit and she pushed so hard but she was getting tired. "I can't do this any more." She panted.  
  
"You're doing good, Colonel, the shoulders are just about out, one more good push, you can do it." The doctor encouraged her.  
  
"Come on Mac, just one more and then it's all over."  
  
That last contraction was a killer, but she pushed as hard as she could squeezing every ounce of her body into it, willing it to be over. And then relief. And a small cry.  
  
Harm grabbed her hands, "Mac, guess what? We have a boy." He said with the biggest tearful grin she'd ever seen.  
  
"Can I see him? Is he okay?" The doctors were busily cleaning him and suctioning him, Harm got to cut the cord. They wrapped the baby up briefly and put him on Mac's chest for her to see, then whisked him away for the standard tests. He would most likely stay to be evaluated for several days, maybe longer.  
  
After four weeks in neonatal intensive care little Harmon Rabb III was strong enough to take home and was released from the hospital.  
  
The hospital stay was a Godsend because they hadn't even been prepared for his arrival so soon. Harm and Mac spent the next several weeks putting together cribs and changing tables, picking out clothes, diapers, formula. And now they were ready. At least they thought so.  
  
Harm and Mac walked hand in hand, Harm carrying the baby in the car seat, and strapped him in for the ride home.  
  
Harm and Mac looked at each other and smiled. "This changes everything, doesn't it?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, but in the best way possible." He reached for her hand and leaned in for a kiss, "It'll be....perfect."  
  
THE END


End file.
